I don't know if it's normal that I feel, when someone assumes I am a Satanist or comes at me with "HAIL!" that I should feel a moment to step back and say, hang on, wait a moment. But I figure, why not explain.
I got it from a phone number. No really!
Google Voice has a way to get a phone number you can use on your phone as an alternative. You can search for numbers before you pick one, and I sought for one with 2327. That spells BEAR on the keypad for those of you too young to remember there are letters on the phone keys. I need to feel any older, I'll just remember some of you are too young to know about even T-9 texting on old Nokia phones.
The only phone number Google had available, I noticed with a giggle, was 666-2327. I grabbed it. I'm not telling you the area code, so don't try dialing. It's set for text only anyway. But that is how I ended up 666-BEAR. And I figured, fuck, I like evil things, so let's run with it.
I had no idea so many in the gay community associate 666 and Satan as being a bug-chaser code for getting the "demon seed," i.e. trying to purposely catch HIV. So let me dispell that right the fuck now. That is not me.
But I will tell you there are some funny reasons I went with it.
I was in a Christian megachurch cult for two and a half years, from 1996-1998. We were made to study really hard and know our stuff. Problem is, I'm too good a student. I understand way more of what I read than they did. I saw through their dogma.
For instance, 666 has nothing to do with Satan whatsoever. True fact!
The only reason it was used in Revelation, if I may bore you, is to give the reader a clue as to what the beast is, and only those versed and proficient in the old pseudo-science of Gematria, a belief that numbers are sacred to the gods, would instantly know that number. Long story short, it just referred to the Sun. The Spirit of the Sun, to be specific. All he was doing was warning about Rome, mostly the army of Rome, who actually followed in the Sol Invictus, or the cult of the "invincible sun."
The Sun is just fine. Best website that didn't get too wooey in explaining it is here, but I learned this from scholars. And you probably don't care. Do I believe in a devil? No. It's a fictional cartoon character, and I can't believe I still have to tell adults that in this day and age.
Another fun fact about devils is, the Bible doesn't really have one. Don't get me started. That's another dogmatic thing church leaders used to spread fear. I like the things they're scared of. Makes me feel wickedly joyous, scaring away the people too stupid to enjoy life.
So not only can I explain what 666 means (and a fuck lot more), but here's a hilarious fact: I was baptized into that crazy ass church on June 6, 1996. Yes. 6/6/96. I was already well out of religion and a full fledged pagan atheist gay rock star when the ten year anniversary date, 6/6/06 came. And I celebrated in my own depraved way.
Now, I do like the hilarious works of The Satanic Temple (TST). I mean seriously, anybody that counter-protests antiabortionists by showing that they fetishize infants by dressing up as BDSM babies (no, I'm not kidding, see video below), is someone I wanna support.
So I am a card carrying member.
But a Satanist? Well, while the Church of Satan gets way too serious with this shit, the TST explains, as I enjoy, that they prefer a more Miltonic Devil, and use him as their symbol. I guess I should translate that.
As I said, there really is no devil in the Bible. No, I'm not kidding. Satan barely makes any appearances, and never as God's enemy. Closest he gets is tempting Jesus but that's actually part of any trial, as all court trials had to have an opposer (or, a satan, because that's what that meant in Hebrew) to try to trick the defendant, otherwise how can you know someone's innocent if they're not tested?
But the church needed to control people. They made a boogeyman. And that boogeyman worked on the illiterate who rarely or never read any actual scripture, and did so for centuries.
You probably know that Satan was the most beautiful of angels, but he defied God and was cast down into Hell for his pride and disobedience, right? Well, you know incorrectly. Never happens in Scripture. That's a dogma that formed amongst people with absolutely no real scriptural source. A couple of badly misunderstood passages are used to support it, but far out of context. That actual story is simply not in there.
It's only in a 17th century epic poem called Paradise Lost, written by John Milton, that this ever shows up in print. And this Miltonic Satan is not Scripture based. And the real problem is, while he wrote this as a religious man, it was in a time when people had a real problem with authority (I mean they were about to behead their own king, Charles I after all), so people sympathized with the Miltonic Satan, who declares he'd rather battle against an arrogant authoritarian who refuses to be questioned.
You've heard the famous line: Better to reign in hell, than to serve in Heaven.
Milton may not have meant to make you identify with his antihero, but we do. So in TST fashion, as they choose a fictional character to stand against the attempt in this country to create authoritarian theocracy, I embrace demonic imagery to keep those people away from me.
But I don't believe in jack fucking shit. Except evolution, science, and buttsex.
And cigars. Fuck yeah cigars!
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